On the web, a troll is a pain-in-the-ass who makes trouble by starting arguments or upsetting people by posting annoying messages with the deliberate intent of provoking readers into an emotional response, or otherwise disrupting normal discussion. [adapted from Wikipedia]
One very common example of trollism is a person who makes an absurd, untrue statement and, when challenged, refuses to either back up or retract the statement. Often the response is a complete change of subjects (deflection), a personal insult, or no response at all.
Debating with a troll seldom accomplishes anything and is minimally satisfying. Nevertheless, I seldom can resist responding.
Here are some of my favorite responses:
Does your mother know you are using her computer?
Did your parents have any human children?
The next time you go to third grade, please pay attention.
Go fuck yourself.
I wish you an extended and excruciatingly painful death.
What time do you have to return to the group home?
You're so full of shit your eyes are turning brown.
You make Dan Quayle (or Sarah Palin) seem smart.
You'd probably type faster if you took your other index finger out of your ass.
You look familiar. Did I see your face on a wanted poster?
Can you walk and chew gum at the same time?
Can you pick your nose without help from a tutor?
Are you the oldest virgin in the world?
Do you act stupid or is this natural?
Klaatu barada nikto
You look like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork.
Out of 100,000 sperm, you were the fastest?
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter remark than what you just said.
The only way you’ll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken’s ass and wait.